I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
