took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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