At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
