get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
