I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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