But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
