They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
