I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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