I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
