Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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