i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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