My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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