I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
