Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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