he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
