I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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