there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
