So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well I just put wine in my tea
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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