I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
