hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I will be naked everywhere
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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