I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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