I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
