Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
