i barfeds in our rink
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
