I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
