would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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