i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
