your parents love me but you hate me
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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