So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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