he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize