i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
