ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize