I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
