Me. At least after what I've been through.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
