actually, I'm a sock model
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
