Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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