hell yes lets make some ravioli
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
