Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
