worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
