her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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