Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
