the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
