I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
