I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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