I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
