Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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