wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
