Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
