We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
