There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
