well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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