my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
