Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize