She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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