no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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