oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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