I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
