nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
