your thong is hanging out like whoa
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
