Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
