Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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