dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
