Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I hate all girls vehemently.
This is not my ceiling
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
operation harelip BJ is a go
im holly from the hills drunk
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
