Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize