Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my shit smells like andre
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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