East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
