Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
