mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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