honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
